Awkward Fight Scene

[arianne]

Wonder if I could get a little help here...

I have two junior high school alpha males who are feuding with each other. In the scene I'm working on, their two groups meet in school and start pushing each other around (yeah, we all remember what it was like to be in junior high... )

The thing is, the scene has to end with the boys making an appointment to fight in the playground at a later date, as the climax of the story depends on them doing so.

If anyone has knowledge (or *ahem* personal experience) of this kind of situation, could you explain how this kind of "date" usually is made? Why would two hot headed boys agree to back down and fight at a later date when they're with all their friends, with half the school looking on besides? Wouldn't backing down equal weakness and/or wimpiness?

I did try to do something about this scene, but right now the characters all sound like they're eating cardboard. I need to add in some stuff and make it more natural...like the kind of thing an actual teenager would say as oppsed to something Gandalf from Lord of the Rings would say...

Thanks in advance for any advice!

[jeno]

Heh. The image of two 'junior high school alpha males' is really funny. 

First, I gotta say, 'playground' seems a bit too young for this age bracket. I don't see junior high kids fighting there, or even meeting to fight there at a later time. Kids at that age want to distance themselves from elementary school, not go back to it's trappings. Maybe a park could work, sure, but not a playground. *shrug*

As for the fight...easiest way would be for an adult to show up from around the corner. The adult doesn't have to see the initial scuffle - someone could just give out a warning that an adult is coming so everyone scatters, diffusing the situation quickly while still leaving things undone.

Messages and messengers were a big thing in junior high, as I recall. After the groups scatter, one group could send a messenger to the other saying, 'meet at such and such place at so and so time or you're a coward! 'cause you're afraid i'll kick your ass!' You could also just have the message be written down and dropped on someone's books or in his locker.

This way you could side step all the awkward dialog and keep the tension/suspense high at the same time. 

[Starbeam]

Jeno's suggestions are really good.  Pretty much everything I can remember was that the kids would threaten to beat each other up at some designated place after school(though my memories are from elementary) specifically so that they wouldn't get caught by any of the teachers or the principal.  So even if there aren't any adults who end up interrupting, like Jeno suggested, you could have them facing each other and agree to meet after school.  What all I remember with fights, they rarely happened on school grounds until high school because it was too easy to get interrupted and pulled apart and taken to the principal's office.  Part of that can also depend on how the school is laid out.  My high school took up a large area, and all the buildings were a decent space apart, so it was easier to get away with there.

[Snowleopard]

I agree with Jeno.  Even in Jr. High - two alpha males would not back down.  It would take something like an adult showing up to get them to split.  Could be an adult.  If it's two kids from the wrong side of the tracks - it could be a police car cruising by.

[Razzazzika]

I don't know exactly the who's and what-for's of your story, but I would either do a) as previously mentioned have a teacher or other intimidating adult break up first fight, or b) have attractive female figure, perhaps girlfriend of one, step in and say something like, "Not now, I wanna get to class on time," or something like that, y'know. That would probably detract from the alpha male image however, and it would probably be best to go with the classic a) teacher's coming, run scenario, but just putting forth a thought.

[arianne]

"Junior high alpha males" is funny? *scratches head* (No, I get what you mean, two 10+ year olds thinking they're the toughest things in the world, it is kind of funny at that.)

And yes, you're right, "playground" does call to mind images of jungle gyms and swings! I was initally thinking about something like an empty parking lot or some quad-like area within the school, but somehow somewhere between my brain and my fingers the word "playground" slipped out. 

It would be complicated to explain why, but let's just say that it would be impossible for these two characters to do the "locker message" thing as mentioned by jeno...I was thinking in terms of a face to face "Meet me in the vacant warehouse [or wherever] at seven tonight or the whole school'll know what a coward you are, you little punk!"

"Just you and me?"

"Yeah, just you and me, man to man, you &*%$*&^&*)(....Let's see if you're man enough to show and get your butt kicked..."

etc etc (see what I mean about sounding like Gandalf...? Okay, a very grumpy, very rude Gandalf...)

I was wondering how it would work for an adult to come in right as the "meet me there, you punk"s get exchanged...I mean, wouldn't the adult sorta quell that sort of thing, seeing as how he's a teacher and all? I don't see a 40 something male standing politely aside while two kids negotiate the terms of their "date"...!

I'm getting a better idea of how the date should go down (thanks, guys, btw!) But I feel like I still need to get some sort of fix on the dialogue. Any suggestions on that front?

[OZ]

Usually what would happen is the kids would be talking to each other, maybe pushing a little when the teacher shows up and everyone scatters. The two that were mad walk off side by side talking to each other under their breath. It doesn't take a long exchange just a quick muttered, " Meet me after school at the park and we'll finish this....If you're not afraid." and a quick answer. "I'll be there at 3:30." Then the kids go there separate ways. Of course word will quickly spread either because the two will tell their friends or someone will be walking close enough to overhear.

[Wizard H]

I sadly have personal experience with just those sorts of situations, and I agree that the simplest thing to do would be to have the begin their shoving contest at one end of a outdoor basketball court or quad area.  A blacktop basketball court and a lot of flat grassy area was all the 'playground' we had in Jr High.  You could easily have a teacher round the corner at the other end of the court, out of earshot but within sight of the scuffle.  The crowd would disperse quickly and usually a bit nervously, the two boys would as previously mentioned be able to trade a few quick words quietly to arrange a meet later, though in my experiences someplace else like a public park at night away from the school.  Most kids that age won't want to go back there to settle things.  Depending on how dutiful the teacher is most in my experience are content with simply seeing everyone disperse.  A better teacher may pull the two boys aside and ask what happened, but it was always understood in those cases that you replied with nothing.  Also that you said as little as possible.

[LizW65]

Actually, a couple of "alpha male" preteens trying to sound like Gandalf sounds pretty damn hilarious to me:  "Fly, you fools!  It's the principal!"
Agree with the previous posters that the final confrontation should take place elsewhere, however.

[arianne]

I probably will change the "final fight" to take place elsewhere...there are just a few too many variables involved with coming back to school late at night/after school.

I would imagine that the actual datemaking would have a lot of cussing than just a simple, "Yeah, meet me over at the park, punk! Five thirty...let's see who's the coward then", but otherwise the "under their breath muttering" method of arranging a meeting time and place can be fitted in to the story...

  Thanks again, guys!

[jeno]

Actually, a couple of "alpha male" preteens trying to sound like Gandalf sounds pretty damn hilarious to me:  "Fly, you fools!  It's the principal!"

And yet, somehow I don't see the 12-14 year old boys who use Gandalf quotes to intimidate people being the 'alpha males' of their peer group.