Author Topic: Run away?  (Read 3914 times)

Offline belial.1980

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Run away?
« on: April 24, 2010, 01:44:16 AM »
Any suggestions for crafting a scene where the family of a fifteen year old girl finds out that she's run away from home?

Setting the stage: She's left a note on the table explaining that it's best if she goes off on her own. She's not bitter and it was a hard decision for her to make. Story takes place in middle class suburbia with a tight knit family group. Parents are still together in a good relationship and she has a brother that's two years older than her. She and her brother squabble occasionally but her mother and her have really been butting heads a lot lately over her partying and older boyfriend. The older sibling was diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 9. His visions resulted in the destruction of a neighbor's home and landed him and the person that lived there in the hospital. (He's not schizophrenic; the things he saw were real, and he saved the neighbor's life but his family doesn't know this) Also there was a third sibling that died eleven years previous to this happening. POV is the older brother's.

I think the parents would be strong people after dealing with all this but of course it would probably be a harrowing experience just the same. I'm trying to size up how they would react and craft a plausible scene. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.
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Offline The Observer

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Re: Run away?
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2010, 03:07:13 AM »
Well if they're your typical parents they'll probably freak out for a few minutes before calling Everyone they can think of. Everyone. Friends, friends of friends, the cops, the fire department...they'll be terrified about their little girl.

Offline trboturtle

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Re: Run away?
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2010, 01:28:44 AM »
First thing to so is write the note. It will show the character's mindset,

Second, show the note to your own parents and get their reaction (Explain beforehand why your doing this) What would they do if it had you that had written the note for real?

The scene is going to be tense, the longer it goes, the more tension there's going to be in the scene -- Emotions is going to rise, family mem,bers are going to become more frantic and less calm the longer the situation lasts.

The Brother may use his 'ability' to see if something is wrong beyond the obivious. He's going to be ignored (Unless the police suspect him of comitting a crime in this scene)

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meh

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Re: Run away?
« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2010, 01:38:20 AM »
Your stage setting includes some things I would put in the box labeled "contradictions".   

Sufficient reason to run away from home at 15  contradicts 'good parenting relationship', and strongly contradicts 'tightly knit family group'.   

The defining characteristic of 'tightly knit family group' is that the members very much want to be part of it.

Offline Shecky

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Re: Run away?
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2010, 02:05:36 AM »
Your stage setting includes some things I would put in the box labeled "contradictions".   

Sufficient reason to run away from home at 15  contradicts 'good parenting relationship', and strongly contradicts 'tightly knit family group'.   

The defining characteristic of 'tightly knit family group' is that the members very much want to be part of it.

Sometimes, that's the very stuff that drives kids away. One of the weirdnesses of the adolescent psyche; I've seen it before.
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meh

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Re: Run away?
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2010, 02:19:53 AM »
Sometimes, that's the very stuff that drives kids away. One of the weirdnesses of the adolescent psyche; I've seen it before.

Then a good way to segue would be for the older brother to attempt to understand that weirdness, no?

Offline belial.1980

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Re: Run away?
« Reply #6 on: April 30, 2010, 05:42:00 AM »
Your stage setting includes some things I would put in the box labeled "contradictions".   

Sufficient reason to run away from home at 15  contradicts 'good parenting relationship', and strongly contradicts 'tightly knit family group'.   

The defining characteristic of 'tightly knit family group' is that the members very much want to be part of it.

I can use my family as a real life example. On my father's side there were 3 brothers. My dad was the oldest with a set of fraternal twins 5 years younger. My grandparents raised them very well and made sure they never wanted for anything. They were tough on discipline though, my grandfather having been a master sergeant in the army. No family's perfect but they were close and to this day they care about each other very much. My dad and the one uncle were straight laced eagle scouts who never got into trouble. The other brother was a hellion.

At 10 he and a buddy went hitchhiking for thrills. By the time he was a teen he was getting in trouble at school for skipping and underage drinking. At around 14 or 15 he stole money from his parents and bought an airplane ticket to fly from Erie, PA to California to watch an Alice Cooper concert. And that was just the early years…

But I digress. Some teenagers do crazy things, no matter how hard their parents work to build a good, stable family. My uncle's not the only example that I know of either. I think that's a fact of life.

Love cannot save you from your fate.

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Offline Noey

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Re: Run away?
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2010, 06:04:43 PM »
What was the catalyst that caused her to decide to run away now, instead of tomorrow, a year ago, yesterday, or never? The history is there, but why is she choosing to do this now? That'd be the big question on her family's minds, I think.
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Offline belial.1980

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Re: Run away?
« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2010, 12:25:27 AM »
Good insight, Noey.

The sister got in a fight at school because another girl made fun of her brother and his alleged psychological problems. And we're not talking about simple name calling; I think we all know how cruel some kids can be. She finally got fed up and went after the other girl. Neither the brother nor the parents are initially aware of the motivation for this fight. She wouldn't tell them why. She's given an out of school suspension for fighting and this leads to a huge argument with her mother. She runs off to go stay with her boyfriend, who's a few years older.

Something along those lines, where it wasn't a single event but a chain of events.
Initially I'd planned to have it happen "on stage" but now I'm thinking about having it happen a little earlier and have the older brother reflecting on the matter through flashbacks. I think. Still not entirely sure how I want to set it up but this is where I'm going with it for now.
Love cannot save you from your fate.

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Offline meg_evonne

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Re: Run away?
« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2010, 12:42:59 PM »

ah, read all the posts Meg!  Yes, I think you're on the same train of thought I was thinking.  I'll leave the post in case it tickles a different thought in your head.

writing in 3rd person then as i assume the story is about the 15 year old or is it about the family left behind?  If you are primarily in the 15 yr-olds head in first you don't have to speculate.  It might be interesting to write a lot of flashbacks to previous situations that show your tight knit family, good relationships, etc and carefully select those that have a tiny hint of what eventually causes the rift.  In other words, while the 15 yr-old is running... use flashback scenes to reveal the family.  

That way the reader gets to figure out the reason for themselves, and you as well.  

Just one idea...  

On the other hand you can reverse it.  If your focus is on the family, then use flashbacks to reveal what is going to go ka-blooey in the 15 yr-old's life.  

This is an old post, so I assume you've already written it.  Challenge you to post!?!  :-)
« Last Edit: May 30, 2010, 12:49:56 PM by meg_evonne »
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Offline shades of grey

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Re: Run away?
« Reply #10 on: June 02, 2010, 06:13:08 PM »
The Beatles: she's leaving home gives a good two sides of a story for a song

Offline svb1972

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Re: Run away?
« Reply #11 on: June 02, 2010, 06:32:30 PM »
If the parents love her.  They are going to be devastated.  They will call the police, they will drive over to her boyfriend's house.  They will argue about who drove her away.

It's going to be emotionally charged, and bitter, and painful.  And they won't.. "be strong and be okay"