Really? You don't see the difference in posting in a thread that is directed towards the group in order to continue or start a discussion, and responding to a post which is directed /specifically to an individual/ that is not you? Maybe it is my issue, but it seems rude to me and guess what?
The idea that any post I make in response to anyone on the forum could be construed as an exclusionary conversation with that person rather than part of an ongoing community discussion would never have occurred to me, because it's kind of axiomatically, intuitively obvious to me, that if it was meant to be private, it would be a PM, and if it is in public on the forum, that is because it is meant to be part of the ongoing discussion and to explicitly welcome anyone to comment. Public forum posts reading as "specifically directed to an individual" is not a concept that
makes any sense to me, no matter how I turn it round in my head.
I'm not for an instant doubting you feel otherwise, Aine, nor that everyone concerned is entirely sincere and in good faith in where they are coming from. And it would not surprise me if this is coming from sincere differences in what each of our home cultures and contexts have taught us to consider polite. Myself, I was brought up to regard not engaging with an argument to the fullest extent possible as
not taking it seriously and therefore as rude to the other party; again, I do not doubt other people see this differently, I am just asking that the sincerity of that position be accepted.
I don't have a solution to suggest to this issue; I don't see any means of addressing the specific issue of multiposting in ways that feels like
both being compatible with what I understand of Aine's expressed preferences
and feeling comfortable myself that I can engage fully with an animated and interesting discussion to whatever degree the discussion itself warrants.