I've several people tell me that they wake up very early and write daily. I've others say that they refuse to go to bed until they've written something--anything. I understand how frustrating it is for you and I wish someone had told me some magic option, but so far no wise soul has shared it. You aren't alone and I hope that you get some really good suggestions that work!
What follows might frighten you. I should probably put horror spoilers over it...
I was a single Mom and I simply couldn't write for years. :-( But I was ONE HELL OF A MOM! Before that I balanced work, kids, and spouse--again I had no time for writing. (Again I was a great Mom, but admittedly a rather bit*** wife.) Even when I was a full time Mom at home it was impossible for me to write. No, I didn't write, but nothing can lock up your creativity. Instead I planned out the most elaborate plots and characters and then in a strange form of short hand and really strange outline, i would literally scratch them out for sometime when life allowed me freedom. Luckily, as I kept working in my mind, if not writing in truth---technology was blossoming into marvelous wonderful writing tools, which cut down so much on the time involved.
Now that being said, I DO KNOW OF WOMEN WHO WRITE with families, with work, and with spouses and significant others. Ready for some more horror spoilers?
About a month ago, I was at a writer's workshop at Univ of IA. It's rather well known nationally and internationally. Yeah, I know and I was there? The instructor, who is a literary/screenplay author and an phenomenal teacher. He opened up a topic for discussion, "Are you finding time to write?" We must have all been single, because no one had a single question. I'm sorry, as I'm sure he would have had some wonderful ideas. In fact, I'll get his name and website, maybe you can tell him Meg from IA thought he might be able to help you. :-)
His general point though was, "Do the people in your life understand the creative process? If they don't, you need to help them understand, while understanding that if they can't--then you probably have a hard choice to make." I don't know how you help them understand or to respect your time to write by taking on additional responsibilities, respecting your time to be alone to think or to write without interruption. Since no one had questions, the discussion stopped there.
One other thing that might help. Pay for a really good online writing class. One that you pay enough to make it hurt, so it has to be a priority for you and your boyfriend. The class should require writing so many pages/words each week to post to others for critiquing--so you have to find the time. Same class needs to help you take short cuts--so you are learning as your write. Make the initial discussion about finding time to write right off the bat and let them give you ideas. Try mediabistro.com as an example, but check out the instructor to make sure you're going to learn something to make it worth the cost and check out their web sites. A reference could mean publishing or getting an agent! Mediabistro does require posting about a 1000 words before being accepted. Don't let it scare you; you'll be fine.
Hopefully, you won't have to wait until your future kids graduate college to write seriously. But to do so is going to take priority for it in your time and in your relationship and probably your budget-- maybe less hours working in exchange for a few more hours to write? All very difficult choices.
Write whenever the TV is on. You'll know you're writing good stuff when two or three shows roll by and you don't remember them. Thank goodness for Tivo.
HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS ETC ETC
