Author Topic: Comments on my short story series  (Read 2408 times)

Offline Cooper

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Comments on my short story series
« on: January 10, 2009, 04:45:11 AM »
I just started a short story series on Mibba.  If you like to read, the link is http://www.mibba.com/story/_83288/_117366/ and post a comment on this forum or on Mibba.  I'm very new to this and I want to know what I'm doing right, and wrong.
What would you do if you had six hours of humanity left?
http://www.ljmclean.net/

Offline Cooper

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Re: Comments on my short story series
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2009, 07:52:54 AM »
Guess nobody wants to give me feedback on my series on this post.  If you are, part 3 will be available sometime tomorrow night.
What would you do if you had six hours of humanity left?
http://www.ljmclean.net/

Offline kero319

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Re: Comments on my short story series
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2009, 11:07:35 PM »
I read part one

Not bad

The background is given a little...strangely? Like your not doing anything crazy, but something about the waythe background info is given makes it hard to get into it? Idk if that makes sense, but just me.

Also, try and find a way to describe the character without listing